Nobody

The Deaf Mute at the Golf Course
The Deaf Mute at the Golf Course A deaf mute steps up to tee off on the first hole of a golf course, when a large burly guy yells "Hey You!, Nobody tees off ahead of Big Ralph". Being deaf the poor guy continues to prepare for his shot, so Ralph runs up thinking the deaf mute is being obstinate, and knocks the poor guy to the ground, kicks his ball away, and prepares for his own shot. After Ralph has hit the ball and proceeded down the fairway after it, the mute gets up brushes himself off, waits a moment, and again prepares his shot. He hits a beautiful shot straight up the middle of the fairway. It also goes straight at big Ralph, hitting him in the back of the head and knocking him down. The mute then walks down the fairway, rolls the stunned man around, and holds up four fingers to Ralph's face.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
The Black Cat With a White Spot
The Black Cat With a White Spot Aerith and Bob were talking. "Say, Aerith", said Bob, "do you know if anybody in the village has a black cat with a white spot underneath its chin?" "I don't think so, no", said Aerith. They sat in silence for a bit, before Bob said, "Are you sure? Come on, think harder. Black cat, a big one, with a white spot underneath its chin." "I'm pretty sure there isn't a cat like that in the village", said Aerith, getting visibly annoyed. There was another minute of silence before Bob said, "But are you really, really..." "YES!" Aerith yelled. "I'm really, really sure! There isn't a black cat with a white spot underneath its chin anywhere in this village! Nobody has one!" "Well, crud", said Bob and gave a mighty sigh. "Then I must've run over the priest the other day."
India is a very peaceful country.
Because nobody has any beef over there.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
“I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.”
Unknown
“If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.”
Steven Wright
There was an Old Man of New York, Who murdered himself with a fork;
But nobody cried though he very soon died,-
For that silly Old Man of New York.
There was an Old Man who said, 'Well!
Will nobody answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night,
Till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!'
There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.
She's like the heel of the bread: everyone touches her but nobody wants her.
Yo mama is like the corona virus, she keeps trying to spread, but nobody wants her.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.