Nobody

The Deaf Mute at the Golf Course
The Deaf Mute at the Golf Course A deaf mute steps up to tee off on the first hole of a golf course, when a large burly guy yells "Hey You!, Nobody tees off ahead of Big Ralph". Being deaf the poor guy continues to prepare for his shot, so Ralph runs up thinking the deaf mute is being obstinate, and knocks the poor guy to the ground, kicks his ball away, and prepares for his own shot. After Ralph has hit the ball and proceeded down the fairway after it, the mute gets up brushes himself off, waits a moment, and again prepares his shot. He hits a beautiful shot straight up the middle of the fairway. It also goes straight at big Ralph, hitting him in the back of the head and knocking him down. The mute then walks down the fairway, rolls the stunned man around, and holds up four fingers to Ralph's face.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
When you're crying, nobody notices your tears.
When you're worried, nobody feels your pain.
When you're happy, nobody sees your smile.
But fart just one time...
There once was a lady from Decatur
Who got laid by a large alligator.
But nobody knew
The result of that screw
Because after he laid her, he ate her.
There was an Old Man of New York, Who murdered himself with a fork;
But nobody cried though he very soon died,-
For that silly Old Man of New York.
There was an Old Man who said, 'Well!
Will nobody answer this bell?
I have pulled day and night,
Till my hair has grown white,
But nobody answers this bell!'
Why does nobody invite Jupiter to the space parties? Because he has too much gas, always…
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. -- Dante Rossetti
You're like Monday mornings, nobody likes you.
She's like the heel of the bread: everyone touches her but nobody wants her.
Why isn’t there an organization like Chocoholics Anonymous?
Because nobody wants to quit.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
No one could tame the unicorn. He was horn to be wild.
Nobody showed up to my 16th birthday party,
I congratulated him on his win against Polyphemus and we started the party.
When I was young there were only 25 letters in the Alphabet. Nobody new why.
What do you call a man with no body and just a nose? Nobody nose.