Next Jokes

"Bury me next to a straight man."
“When gorillas are sleeping, you can hide a bunch of raisins in their fur, and then they’ll have an exciting treat the next day."
- Guy Endore Kaiser
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
"Standing next to you makes me feel better about myself."
- 30 Rock
“I couldn’t help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”
- Will Smith, Hitch (2005)
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘D***, that was fun.'”
— Groucho Marx
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” – Phyllis Diller
Can I be your next varietal?
I cut down a tree in my yard, but I don't know what to do next.
I'm stumped!
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
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