Next Jokes

I just hear that the woman who lives next door and loves fruit died. I hope she would rest in peach.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That dress would look good on the floor next to my bed.
I’m an astronaut and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
"Standing next to you makes me feel better about myself."
- 30 Rock
“I couldn’t help but notice that you look a lot like my next girlfriend.”
- Will Smith, Hitch (2005)
The next person that asks me for pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade, and a slice of orange all in the same glass is gonna get a “punch.
"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire."
~ Cannon’s Law
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
"Bury me next to a straight man."
Can I be your next varietal?
I cut down a tree in my yard, but I don't know what to do next.
I'm stumped!
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
“When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘D***, that was fun.'”
— Groucho Marx
They were building a meat tower next door.
The steaks just kept getting higher.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy