Newspaper Jokes

The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
How did the horse solve a murder?
Compiled newspaper clippings.
How does a horse make paper mรขchรฉ?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
The only thing that is black and white and has to be red all over is a newspaper.
Working at The Circus So, Alex sees an ad in the newspaper that says โ€œCircus Looking for New Talentsโ€. Alex says to himself, โ€œEh, what the heck. Iโ€™m pretty talented.โ€ and calls the circus. A lady answers him. โ€œHello,โ€ she says. โ€œHi, is this the circus?โ€ โ€œYes.โ€ โ€œIโ€™ve heard youโ€™re hiring.โ€ โ€œYouโ€™ve heard correctly, sir. What is your name?โ€ โ€œAlex.โ€ โ€œAlright then, Alex, what makes you think you can join the circus?โ€ โ€œWell, I have several talents... for example, I can shoot a three-pointer in basketball, like five times in a row.โ€ โ€œO... Okay... Thatโ€™s quite impressive, sir, but itโ€™s not really not what weโ€™re looking for. I think maybe you should call the NB...โ€ โ€œNo, no, wait! I... I can hula hoop for like 30 seconds straight!โ€ โ€œSir, I really donโ€™t think you understand what the concept of a cir...โ€ โ€œNo, please, I... I... I can jump on one leg while saying the alphabet backwards!โ€ โ€œ...โ€ โ€œ...โ€ โ€œGoodbye, sir.โ€ She hangs up the phone. Alex sits there for a few seconds before he realizes he forgot something. โ€œOh darn, I forgot to tell her Iโ€™m a horse.โ€
What did the newspaper say to the ice cream? What's the scoop
โ€œItโ€™s always darkest before the dawn. So if youโ€™re going to steal your neighborโ€™s newspaper, thatโ€™s the time to do it.โ€
Navjot Singh Sidhu
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because you get picked up by random guys on the bus.
Hey girl, are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you every f**king day.
A newspaper man named Fling,
Could make "copy" from any old thing.
But the copy he wrote,
Of a five dollar note,
Was so good he is now wears so much bling.
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
April Fools Day: The day every newspaper tries to fool readers by sneaking in at least one properly researched, factually correct story.
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