Months

My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
“My daughters only six months old and already drawing. I’d hang it on the fridge, but honestly, its absolute garbage.” – Ryan Reynolds
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
A company that performs tests on urine samples turned a large profit in the last several months.
They had a great piss-cal year.
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
My fiance is kidding... She's due in 7 months!
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies.

Did I mention he was suicidal?
A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
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