Months Jokes

My doctor says I should get my ears cleaned every 12 months.
I think he means ear-ly.
Just call me your baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
“You know you’re a gardener when you’re happy to devote three months of your life growing tomatoes to save $1.27.”
— Anonymous
I used to be a boy trapped in a woman’s body. But after 9 long months, I was finally born!
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
“My daughters only six months old and already drawing. I’d hang it on the fridge, but honestly, its absolute garbage.” – Ryan Reynolds
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
My fiance is kidding... She's due in 7 months!
A man says to his friend, “I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months.”
The friend says, “Why not?”
The man says, “I don’t like to interrupt her.”
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early today, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off."

When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk.
"Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I dunno", I said, "I'll tell you in nine months."
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
“October: This is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain
What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?
I think we should sea otter people.
Want to start your day laughing? Register to our Daily Joke!
Did you mean:
Continue With: Facebook Google
By continuing, you agree to our T&C and Privacy Policy