“I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.”
Les Dawson
“I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.”
Roy Orbison
Living on Earth might be expensive. But we surely get a free trip around the sun every year!
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
I wouldn’t say it’s easy living with erectile dysfunction.
But it’s not hard.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Two goats are married, living on a farm. Billy Goat says, "I really want children. Let's make some babies."
Betty Goat responds, "Heck no. No baby goats for me..."
"I'm not kidding."
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
A blonde is a living person with a specific hair color, and a bowling ball is an inanimate object used in the sport of bowling.
The people upstairs all practise ballet
Their living room is a bowling alley
Their bedroom is full of conducted tours.
Their radio is louder than yours,
They celebrate week-ends all the week.
When they take a shower, your ceilings leak.
They try to get their parties to mix
By supplying their guests with Pogo sticks,
And when their fun at last abates,
They go to the bathroom on roller skates.
I might love the people upstairs more
If only they lived on another floor.
Why did the old man hate living next to the tennis courts?
He couldn't stand all the racket!
A farmer complained that he didn't have enough fruit to make a living.
I told him he needs to grow a pear.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Living costs on the moon would probably be out of this world.
What do you call Santa living at the South Pole? A lost clause.