Literally Jokes

It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
He knew literally everything about the constellations. Some might even say that his knowledge of the night sky was astronomical.
Have you heard about the chef on space station? He’s not that much of an astronaut, but his food is literally out of this world!
Why people did not like the restaurant on? Because there was literally no atmosphere.
My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally.
The police get mad at me because that’s apparently considered “kleptomania.”
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"

And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Why do thieves have a hard time understanding puns?
Because they take things literally!
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
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