Literally Jokes

Babies born March 31st are the easiest to prank on April Fool’s
They were literally born yesterday.
I met a girl in a vegetarian restaurant who said she recognized me, but I have literally never seen herbivore.
You look dead sexy. Literally.
My uncles petshop really started doing well when he started selling parrots. They literally flew off the shelves.
Cassini spacecraft took pictures of both Saturn and Earth. It was literally the best of both worlds.
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
I whispered back when someone made fun of my height. When he asked what I said, I replied, "Whatever I said went literally above your head".
Why should you never ever play texas hold'em with a crocodile?
You will literally lose every hand.
What is just as big as a gorilla but literally weighs nothing?
A gorilla's shadow.
Why do thieves have a hard time understanding puns?
Because they take things literally!
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"

And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
You look dead sexy. Literally.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
My wife gets mad at me because I always take things literally.
The police get mad at me because that’s apparently considered “kleptomania.”
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
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