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Left

Arm Puns
A mime in our town was arrested yesterday after he got into a bar fight and broke his left arm.
He still has the right to remain silent.
A mime in my town was arrested yesterday after he broke his left arm in a bar fight.
He still has the right to remain silent.
Chess Puns
I left chess club early this week.
I was just so board.
Blonde Jokes
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend.
There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
Brain Puns
Why is the left cerebral cortex always wrong?
Because it was never in the rgiht.
What did the right hemisphere say to the left hemisphere when they could not agree on anything?
Let's split.
Football Puns
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
Electricity Puns
The superconductor left without resistance.
Pear Puns
My favorite fruit is the pear.
Because if you have two and you eat one, you still have a pear left.
Jokes For Women
How many knees do men really have? 3 - right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.
Train Puns
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
One Liners and Short Jokes
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
My wife accused me of being a transvestite.
So I packed her things and left.
Dark Short Jokes
One day when I was young, I watched my father grilling burgers.
When they were done, he handed me one telling me it was a bison burger.

He than left, and never came back.
Zebra Puns
My zebra is a rubbish ballet dancer. I think he’s got two left feet.
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