King

A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans
He really is the king of pop
In the kingdom of idiots, you would be king.
My ambition, said old Mr. King,
Is to live as a bird on the wing.
Then he climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.
If a lion is the king of the jungle...
Then shouldn’t they call it a reignforest?
Why did the King of Hearts marry the Queen of Hearts?
They were perfectly suited to each other.
Name the child's favorite Christmas king? A stocking.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I'm the pun King of Halloween.
Who is king of all the mice?
Mouse Tse Tung!
Who is king of all the mice? Mouse Tse Tung!
When is a piece of wood made king? when its a ruler
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
King Hero of old Syracuse had doubts that made him frown.
"Perhaps my goldsmith did not use pure gold to make the crown."
Since proof of mischief must be strong to put a thief in collar,
The king who feared his judgment wrong called on his science scholar.
"Archimedes, friend of old, find me the solution!
Is my crown pure solid gold, or is that an illusion?"
The scholar's task was serious; he struggled hard with math.
His mind was near delirious until he poured his bath.
He noticed how the water pushed him up as he stepped in.
He thought about it harder as he stroked his bearded chin.
"The weight of displaced liquid should always let me know
When any golden solid has a density too low!"
"Eureka!", he resounded. "I have such a clever mind".
Yet his claim was unfounded 'cause he left his clothes behind!

(by Robert Z)
What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?
Exparagus.