Dogs

Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
What do dogs and commas have in common? Dogs have claws at the end of their paws and commas are a pause at the end of a clause.
How do hot dogs greet each other? They say “give me some skin!”
Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor role.
Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup? Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why are hot dogs angry? Because they are always getting roasted.
Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs? He can't find the zipper
Did You Know That Americans Eat Dogs?
Did You Know That Americans Eat Dogs? Two Irish nuns have just arrived to the USA by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people in this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart. "Two dogs, please," says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously: "Which part did you get?"
Why did the mouse stay inside?
Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Why did the mouse stay inside? Because it was raining cats and dogs.
Dogs can't operate an MRI machine, but Catscan.
The Cruel King and His Dogs
The Cruel King and His Dogs There once was a cruel king who enjoyed executing whoever he pleased. A minister once gave him wrong advice the king decided to have him killed. He ordered that the minister to be thrown to the ravenous and vicious guard dogs. The minister said, "I have served you loyally for 10 years and you do THIS?" The king was without mercy. The Minister fell on his knees pleaded, "Please give me 10 days before you throw me to the dogs." The king thought about it, weighed his curiosity vs. his blood lust, and finally agreed. In those 10 days the minister went to the keeper of the dogs and told him he wanted to feed the dogs for the next 10 days. The guard was baffled, but he agreed. So the minister started feeding the dogs, caring for them, washing them, providing all sorts of comforts for them. When the 10 days were up. The king ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs as sentenced. When he was thrown in, everyone was amazed at what they saw. The ferocious dogs were wagging their tails, playing with the condemned minister and even licking his feet. The king was baffled at what he saw. "What happened to the my vicious dogs?!" He growled. The minister then said, "I served the dogs for only 10 days and they didn't forget my service. I served you for 10 years and you forgot all of it at my first mistake!" The King then realized his own great mistake. The next day, he replaced the dogs with crocodiles.
What do dogs like to drink? Kit-Tea.
Why can't you tell dogs a knock knock joke?
Because they immediately start barking.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Why do blind people hate diving?
It scares the hell out of their dogs.