Killed Jokes

I killed all the knights in the Iron Keep, except one,
He was Allone
When many knights were being killed by guns and bombs, the medieval scientist discovered a weapon that would destroy all their enemies. It was known as the knightrogen bomb!
“Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
“I just want to let you know that if you ever need to have a plant killed, I’m the person for that job.”
— Anonymous
What killed the painter? He had too many strokes.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Did you hear about the Irishman killed with a garden gnome?
It was a knick-knack paddywhack.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
There is a higher chance of being struck by lightning than to be killed in a shark attack.
Shocking isn't it.
“I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can’t get killed by a blank?” — Milton Berle
Did you hear about the guy who killed a group of catholic crows?
It was Mass murder
A bunch of crows ganged up and killed a chicken.
It was a murder most fowl.
Santa hit a dragon and killed it whilst flying over medieval England...
... guess you could say he sleighed it
Q. What did Ena say after Bambi was killed by a semi truck?
A. He will be dearly missed.
There’s been a murder, a woman was killed,
found in a bathtub, partially filled.
A pair of policemen went into the house
and questioned the poor woman’s spouse.
He’d just come home from working all night
and found her like that, a terrible sight.
The younger policeman looked on with dismay.
He’d never forget that terrible day.
He saw the young woman from behind the door
and empty milk cartons all over the floor,
Scattered strawberries, slices of fruit,
and spoonfuls of sugar and honey to boot.
”Who could have done this terrible thing?”
His voice had a horrified, pitiful ring.
”Just look at the clues,” replied Sargeant Miller.
”It looks like the work of a cereal killer.” (Albert Van Hoogmoed)
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