James Jokes

What do you call James Bond taking a bath?
Bubble 07
What did James Bond’s mom say as she was giving birth?
"I’ve been expecting you, Mr. Bond."
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Why doesn't james bond fart in bed?
Because it'll blow his cover
"A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken."
- James Dent
“Always respect Mother Nature. Especially when she weighs 400 pounds and is guarding her baby.”

- James Rollins.
“If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys” – James Goldsmith
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage” — James Holt McGavran
“Money, it turned out, was exactly like sex, you thought of nothing else if you didn’t have it and thought of other things if you did.”- James Arthur Baldwin
What is a blue whale’s favourite James Bond Film?
Licence to Krill.
“I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive the kids crazy.”

- James, ‘Look Who’s Talking.’
“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

- James Baldwin.
What do you call James Bond with no beard ?
Agent Zero Zero Shaven.
Why does James Bond Have grey hair?
Because there's no time to dye!
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
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