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Human Jokes

Funny Work Quotes
“Work is against human nature. The proof is that it makes us tired. – Michel Tournier
“If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be ‘meetings.” – Dave Barry
Toxic Pick Up Lines
Are you a human? Just making sure.
Computer Puns
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Crocodile Puns
What do alligators call human children?
Appetizers.
Lettuce Puns
A lettuce farm was busted by the FDA on suspicion of combining plant and human DNA to create a new protein hybrid.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
Dog-Themed Pick Up Lines
Swiped for the dog, stayed for the human.
Your profile pic is so cute. The human isn't too bad looking either.
Gorilla Puns
Q. Why couldn't the gorilla run in the marathon?
A. Because he's not part of the human race!
Flight Puns
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
According to Greek mythology, Chiron was a half horse half human doctor.
This made him the Centaur for Disease Control.
Mermaid Puns
For years I told my daughter she was half-human and half-mermaid... but that her bottom half was human, and her top half was mermaid.
Corona Virus Jokes
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Spine Puns
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?
Your spine.
Funny Animal Quotes
“If I could be half the person my dog is, I’d be twice the human I am.”—Charles Yu
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