High

My football teammate asked me, “On a scale of 1-10, how do you rate our after-victory celebration?”
I gave him a high five.
Why did the kicker finally decide to marry his high school sweetheart?
She was a fair catch!
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
"You round me out." — High Card Band
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Not to brag, but I beat the state chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
I had my dad proof read an essay of mine back in High School. He said my grammar was a little funny.
Apparently I need to work on my pun-ctuation.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap
He was high on my list of priorities.
Why is it a bad idea to give a cow marijuana?
The steaks are too high.
Why did the neuron like to sleep in the top bunk bed?
It wanted to have a high resting potential.
A lady sees a cowboy and says "are you really a cowboy?" The cowboy says "why yes mame, born and raised right here in Montana and have worked on the ranch since I was knee high to a pup."

The woman says " I've always wondered why cowboys always wear those big hats." The wide brim keeps the sun off'aya when it's hot and the rain off'aya when it rain'n."

"Why do you all wear vests?" Well mame, it keeps ya warm when it's cold but it leaves your arms free for rope'n and work'n."

"What about the chaps? " "They keep the burrs and brambles off'a ya."

She says "that all makes perfect sense, but what I don't understand is why you'd wear tennis shoes."

"Aww, that's easy, that's so folks don't mistake us for TRUCKERS!"
There was a gay Countess of Bray,
And you may think it odd when I say,
That in spite of high station,
Rank and education,
She always spelt Cunt with a K.
The high school music teacher was controversial for having his students read band books.
What do you call a toddler running towards their mother with arms high up in the air?
A quick pick-me-up.