High Jokes

Are you a drill sergeant? Because you’ve got my privates on high alert.
After graduating from high school, crows go to caw-lleges for further studies.
With long legs like yours, you don't need high heels.
What do you call a group of cows that are on top of a hill? High steaks.
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high...
She looked surprised.
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with a car.
Throw you off a tree so high.
Hope you break your neck and die!
Twinkle Twinkle little star.
Go to heck, it isnt far.
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
Where did Santa's little helpers go to high school?
They didn't, they were gnome-schooled.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
The theoretic turtle started out to see the toad;
He came to a stop at a liberty-pole in the middle of the road.
“Now how, in the name of the spouting whale,” the indignant turtle cried,
“Can I climb this perpendicular cliff, and get on the other side?
If I only could make a big balloon, I’d lightly over it fly;
Or a very long ladder might reach the top, though it does look fearfully high.
If a beaver were in my place, he’d gnaw a passage through with his teeth;
I can’t do that, but I can dig a tunnel and pass beneath.”
He was digging his tunnel, with might and main, when a dog looked down at the hole.
“The easiest way, my friend,” said he, “is to walk around the pole.”

(Amos Russel Wells)
When pigs live high on the hog, they run the risk of going into hock.
Let’s have high tea & fall in love sometime. You can be my little biscuit.
American cherries generally do pretty well at high school. Many of them end up on the cherryleading squad.
What do you call an onion that is very sick and has a high temperature? It is a boiling onion.
"Popcorn for breakfast! Why not? It’s a grain. It’s like, like, grits, but with high self-esteem."
– James Patterson
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