Heavy Jokes

I was surprised that although I was supposed to be feeling blue, my heart was not that heavy. Perhaps, I am feeling light blue.
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
How heavy are your bones?
They are scale-a-ton.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
How heavy is a rainbow? It's actually pretty light.
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One’s really heavy, the other’s a little lighter.
My wife ordered one of those new heavy blankets but delivery took forever...
She says it was worth the weight.
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
Dance music can be traced back to medieval times when a farmer dropped some heavy beets.
What do you call a cake that likes heavy metal?
Megadeath by Chocolate.
After letting elephant dung dry in the sun, it's nearly indestructible.
In fact, I'd say it's pretty heavy doody.
Excuse me madan, could you help me? My hands ar so heavy. Could you hold them for me?
Why did the skeleton put on a heavy coat?
He was chillled to the bone.
Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?
Real rocks are too heavy.
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
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