Forgot

Did you hear about the guy who forgot to use the colander when making mac and cheese?
His wife gave him a restraining order.
An Old Husband and Wife Discuss Golf
An Old Husband and Wife Discuss Golf "How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife. "Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife. "But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball." his wife pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot."
An elderly man called Keith.
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair.
He'd forgot they were there.
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill.
Now I’m in arrears.
Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint. The phone rings and he jumps up shouting, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog!"
Made the mistake of offering my realtor some lipton iced tea
I forgot that he only drinks realty.
Why did the blonde have square boobs? Because she forgot to take the tissues out of the boxes.
What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee? Their friendship came to a bitter end.
This book of spells was useless. The author forgot to run spell check.
“I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.”
An elderly man called Keith,
Mislaid his set of false teeth.
They'd been laid on a chair,
He'd forgot they were there,
Sat down, and was bitten beneath.
Man wakes up and says nothing. Wife annoyed shouts, “You’ve forgotten what day it is haven’t you.”
Man goes to work and confides to a colleague, “I think I forgot my wife’s birthday.”
“Not a problem,” he replies. Just go out and buy her a beautiful new dress and a pearl necklace.”
After work the man races home and showers his wife with gifts.
“Oh darling,” she replies, “ what a beautiful new outfit to pick my mother up from the airport in.”
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen Pregnant? He forgot to wrap his whopper!
My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
Yo Momma so stupid when someone stole her TV, she ran after them shouting, "You forgot the remote".
Me: I just burned 2000 calories in 20 minutes.
Friend: How?
Me: I forgot to take my brownies out of the oven.