Force

Where do rabbits learn how to fly? In the hare force!
What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus. A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions...HANDS DOWN. If you force se* on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? you choose.
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
The New Element of 'Administratium'
The New Element of 'Administratium' Investigators at a major research institute have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it came into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons, viceneutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since with each reorganization some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isotopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass".
The difference between a GEEK and a NERD.

Geek: "May the force be with you!"
Nerd: "May the force be equal to the mass multiplied by acceleration."
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Love is like a fart - if you have to force it it's probably crap.
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
No! You can't force me to shave my forearms!
I have a right to bear arms!
A stoner, a Jedi and a surgeon walk into a bar.
Blunt force trauma.
Its not the length of the vector that counts, its how you apply the force.
Are you Darth Vader, because I wouldn't mind if you used a little force to choke me.
I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.
You know, it's not the length of the vector that counts. It's how you apply the force.
My favorite attractive force is Van der Waal's force. Can you feel it? I'll move closer if you can't.
Cows will never make the police force because they simply refuse to go on steak-outs.