Finished Jokes

“The problem with doing nothing is that you never know when you’re finished.” – Groucho Marx
“Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished.” — Leslie Nielsen
After the doctor finished up with my prostrate exam the nurse came in and said three words I didn’t want to hear...
“Who was that?”
I just finished the Mona Lisa made from vegetables. It's a masterpeas.
A blond calls her mom...
Blond: "Mom mom!! I'm a genius!"
Mother: "Really dear? How's that possible?"
Blond: "I finished a puzzle that I've been working on for 1 year and on the box it said 'for 2-5 yrs'."
Just finished my first shift as a lion impersonator.
It was a roaring success.
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
Dave Barry
Are you dessert because I'm finished.
What did the deer say after he finished eating?
“That was deer-licious!”
One evening I wrote to John and I guess I was expressing my frustrations with not having enough time as I had a briefcase full of work to do that evening. Jaymac, in his wisdom, sent me back the following funny but inspirational poem:

Briefcase with an Engine
Poet: John McLeod

Fit your briefcase with an engine
Go skateboarding in the sun
Loop the loop, do aerobatics,
Laugh a lot and have great fun!

'Cook a snook' at paper empires
Save a forest, every tree
And remember, above all,
To do it happily!

It reminded me life is too short to let work frustrate me. Reading John's words of wisdom helped relieve my stress as I found myself smiling when I finished reading the poem. And, smiling and laughing is a great stress reliever!

Many times during my career I let my work control my life. Looking back at the times where I allowed my work to create stress and frustration in my life I now realize what I thought was important really was not. I am not say
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
Why are bunnies always tired in April? Because they just finished a March.
“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.”

- Erma Bombeck.
Once we had a cooking exam. After I finished, teacher said, that it was well done
But I made Medium Rare.
What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet?
Wait until he’s finished.
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