Fighting Jokes

"After about 15 years I finally figured out that she's always right. So surprisingly we just stopped fighting after that." —Barack Obama
What do you call 2 guys fighting over a slut? Tug-of-whore.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
How do you stop two blind men from fighting?
You yell, “look out, he's got a knife!"
"Every bunny was kung fu fighting."
Crabgrass in my lawn is always fighting to prevent good grass seed from rooting...
Guess you could say I'm caught in the middle of a turf war
What happens when a closet goes into fighting?
It turns into a wardrobe.
Two flies were fighting on a toilet seat.
One got pissed.
Why do pumpkins never quarrel? Because they have no stomach for fighting.
I got tired of fighting straw...
So I hit the hay.
Blue and green stopped fighting because they had agreed on peace teal.
Which venue did all the vegetables choose to open their fighting club in? An onion ring!
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
There were two knights who were fighting a long duel with each other. The fight ended when one of them chopped off the other's leg- guess the knight was defeeted.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
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