There was a costume party on Halloween. Everyone was there except one guy. Many people asked his sister where he was.
She said: “Oh, he wanted to go as our dad for Halloween.”
Everything about you is perfect except one thing, you aren't married to me.
Everyone remembers the common hieroglyphics grammar rule...
Eye before flea, except after sea.
Except the direction I'm walking in.
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley
I’m a hardcore believer in the “i before e except after c” rule
It’s science.
Little Johnny and the New Baby
Little Johnny and the New Baby A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.  It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her 5-year-old child. The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high so he could see, while he helped the woman deliver the baby. The child did so, the mother pushed and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.  The doctor then asked the 5-year-old what he thought of the baby.  "Hit him again," the 5-year-old said. "He shouldn't have crawled up there in the first place!"