A man visits a televangelist and asks him to help him with his hearing. The televangelist grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and forth for several minutes, screaming and shouting. After the violent gesture ends the televangelist looks at him and says, “How is your hearing?”

The man replies, “I don’t know yet. It’s not until next Monday at 12:00.”
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
If a person would have several friends,
here's the thing upon which it depends;
are you willing to share
when there isn't much there
and burn up your day from both ends.

(By Steve Mckee)
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.
Why did the banana go to the hairdressers? Because it had split ends!
30 Year Friendship Ends At Alter
Man: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
Woman: Okay, but would you stay there?
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
What streets do ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
What starts with a P, ends with an E, and has a million letters in it? Post Office!
Why doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job? He still ends up with the same boss.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
The poor werewolf was busy chasing his own tail. We were later told that he was trying to make ends meet.
Why was the dog chasing his own tail?
Because he was trying to make both ends meet.