Ends Jokes

What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
I may not be the biggest football fan, but I love tight ends.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
What streets do zombies live on?
Dead ends.
Is the pool safe for diving?
It deep ends.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
A man visits a televangelist and asks him to help him with his hearing. The televangelist grabs his heads and violently shakes it back and forth for several minutes, screaming and shouting. After the violent gesture ends the televangelist looks at him and says, “How is your hearing?”

The man replies, “I don’t know yet. It’s not until next Monday at 12:00.”
Since the bartender is not a chemist, he has no idea that H2O2 is the chemical formula for hydrogen peroxide, and gives both chemists a glass of water. Expecting that one to end a little differently, too? If you’re unfamiliar, this is the (rather dark) way that joke usually ends. Plus, check out some more brainy and hilarious science jokes.
Why did the butcher work overtime at the grocery store? To make ends meat!
Why doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job? He still ends up with the same boss.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
A wise saying among werewolves: Chasing your tail will not make ends meet.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
What kind of day ends with no toilet paper?
A bidet.
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