Dirty Jokes

Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
"I love when my kids tells me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a full sink of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time." – Unknown
It's a dirty job but someone's got to do you.
I hope your knees aren't dirty because I just cleaned my floor.
I've been called a dirty player but lets just see how dirty we can get tonight.
If I washed my d*ck, would you suck it? [No] Oh, so you like to suck dirty d*ck?
When I see you I get a Dirty, Dirty Feeling so Don't Be Cruel and be my Earth Angel
Did you hear about the football player with the dirty mouth?
Yeah. He was an offensive lineman.
The scientists decided to clean up the Thames because it had a dirty mouth.
A man has to go, but has no toilet paper. His friend says to wipe with a dollar. He comes back all dirty, so his friend asks "What is that horrible smell?". So the man says,
"Hard to wipe with 3 quarters, 2 dimes and a nickel"
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.”
— Sicilian Proverb
What did the clean DNA say to the dirty DNA?
The Dirty Blinds A man foolishly asks his wife why she keeps staring out of the window. Taking a very deep breath she replies "I'm really fed up with the state of Mrs Brown's blinds. Mrs Perkin's aren't much better. And that Mrs Lewis- scruffy cow. Look at them- filthy. They're just not house proud like me. Dirty blinds are such an eyesore. If you were a real man you'd go over and get them to do something about it. In fact, you must- for I won't stand for it any longer." "I'll tell you what," says the man as he peers through the window beside her; "I'll see what I can do." The following morning, she approaches him, beaming. "I can't believe it. The blinds. They're all immaculate. What did you say to them?" "Nothing." he says "I just cleaned the window."
The squirrel’s chest got dirty with nuts, now it has a chest-nut.
The mama nut told her children to kick off their dirty cashews before stepping into the house.
Are you a dirty donut, I don't mind and I'll lick you clean.
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