Dad Jokes

My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
The Bungee Jump in Mexico Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know David, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico." David thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they’ll need – a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. The first guy jumps... He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the David notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, David isn’t able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, David misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up – he’s got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, David finally catches him this time and says, "Arquette! What happened? Was the cord too long?" The first guy lifts his head weakly and says, "No, the cord was fine. But David, tell me... what the heck is a piñata?"
Son: Hey Dad, why do you have your ear right up to that computer?
Dad: I’m listening to A Dell
How to determine the gender of your cat?
pour some milk in a bowl and place it next to the cat, if she drinks it, your cat is a female, but if he drinks it, the cat is a male
My son asked today “ Dad, are people in Spain cannibals?”
I answered “Why would you think that?”

He said “Well, my teacher said they mostly live off of tourists there.”
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
My dad died on Thanksgiving whilst eating dinner.
Fowl play was suspected.
My dad just told me something that sent a chill down my spine.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
When Chuck Norris moved out, his dad became the man of the house.
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
There’s a big thunderstorm. The road is blocked by a big mudslide. A little boy asks his dad, “Why does earth fall down like that?”
His dad answers, “It’s terrain.”
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
What do you call a cup of leaf juice that doesn’t want to be a dad?
Absent-tea parent.
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