Buying

A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

She rejects them all.

“Well you tell me what you want then.”

“I want a divorce.” she replies.

“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.