Buying

A husband reels off a list of presents he suggests buying his wife for her birthday.

She rejects them all.

“Well you tell me what you want then.”

“I want a divorce.” she replies.

“I wasn’t planning on spending that much.”
How did the baker cut four loaves of bread at the same time? By buying a four-loaf-cleaver.
I tried buying a car from a religious person and got a lemon!
I suppose you get what you prayed for..
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.