Board Jokes

Why couldn't the housefly board the plane?
It was on the no fly list
What board game do deer families always play?
Buck-gammon.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
“People say, ‘But Betty, Facebook is a great way to connect with old friends.’ Well, at my age, if I want to connect with old friends I need a Ouija board.”
Betty White
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
I almost got caught stealing a board game today.
But it was a Risk I was willing to take.
I left chess club early this week.
I was just so board.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
Permission to board?
How to Get to the Eiffel Tower A blonde was traveling abroad and wanted to see the Eiffel Tower. She tried to ask people and found a policeman who agreed to help her. She asked him "Sorry, how do I get from here to the Eiffel Tower?" The policeman replied: "Wait for bus 37 and get on it, it'll take you there in 10 minutes." The blonde thanked the policeman and he left. Hours later, he happened to go by the same place he left the woman, just to see the blonde is still there! Why are you still here?" The policeman asked," I left you 4 hours ago and you haven't boarded the bus?" "Oh don't worry, Mr. Policeman sir, just a moment ago, the 30th bus passed, there are only seven left to go!"
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
“Marriage is like a game of chess, except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” - Jenny Seinfeld
I’m never board when I’m at the pool.
Hop on board my yellow submarine and I'll make you twist and shout.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
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