Begin Jokes

"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.
You know you’re getting old when…
You begin every other sentence with, “Nowadays…”
What did the phone say to begin the race?
On your marks, handset, go!
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
How does the recipe for German Sauerbraten begin? "First invade ze kitchen."
Daddy? Do all fairy tales begin with ‘once upon a time’?
No, there are a whole series of fairy tales that begin with ‘If elected, I promise...’
Car Salesman: And if you don't like this color, we have another one in "Boulder Gray"
Me: Gray isn't very bold to begin with, how did you make it bolder?
How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin? First, invade ze kitchen.
Q. How did the wedding between the stag and the doe begin?
A. Deerly beloved...
Have you noticed that most wolf parties begin at around midnight? Well, it is not by coincidence, it is so that they can have a howling good time.
Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they’re all priests and immediately says "If any of you are molesters, there’s no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away.

"AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”
Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
The inventor of mosquito repellent likely did not know where to begin...
I guess he would have to start from scratch.
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