Bars

"I'm divorcing my wife. I've had enough, I'm going to leave her."
"Why?"
"She's out every night, going to the bars in town way past midnight and I'm fed up with it".
"What's she doing?"
"She's looking for me!"
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.
They all get a drink, because bars in America are legally required to serve people of all religions.
I saw a pun on chocolate bars but it wasn’t that fun
So I just snickered.
I saw a joke about chocolate bars but it wasn’t that funny So I just snickered.
The reason he went smiling all the way to the jail is because the judge sentenced him to a life behind chocolate bars.
What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? You're gonna choke alot.
What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? Almond Joy To The World.
Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? You eat it, She says, "Oh, Oh Henry!"
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!"
POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to giggle, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of Cogito ergo sum, or I think, therefore, I am.

But to explain the concept beforehand would be putting Descartes before the horse.
Where do monkeys go to drink?
To the monkey bars.