Ago Jokes

My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
Are you a fidget spinner? Because the last time I had fun with you was forever ago and I’m not really interested in touching you anymore. I’m pretty sure you were just a phase and now I’d really like to get you out of my house and forget it ever happened.
Are you an alien because you abducted my heart long ago.
Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...
Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.
A century ago, two brothers insisted that it was possible to fly ...
And as you can see, they were Wright.
My pink bird friend got dumped a while ago. He was sad for a while, but now he’s singe and ready to flamingle.
I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago...
Since then my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
2000 years ago, pop diva Lady Cleopatra had a smash hit: "Bad Romans."
A few years ago, I had a job translating pre-Classical Greek literature into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
5 years ago today I asked my childhood sweetheart, my best friend, and the most beautiful woman in the world to marry me.
All three said No!
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".

Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
Dad: Years ago I had the opportunity to meet R.E.M., and we even took a picture together with my buddies.
Son: Where are you in the photo?
Dad: That's me in the corner.
What did you call the cat next door 10,000 years ago?
A neighbor-toothed tiger.
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