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Why couldn't the blonde add 10 + 5 on a calculator?
She couldn't find the "10" button.
What did the detective say after finding a calculator?
"Hmm... Now everything is starting to add up..."
“The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you’re signing somebody’s cast.”
Demetri Martin
How do you make soup rich? Add 24 carrots.
How do you make a rabbit float? Put soda, syrup, and milk into a glass. Add one rabbit.
You're like a dictionary... you add meaning to my life.
I know you're busy today, but can you add me to your to-do list?
Choose any number between 2 and 7. Multiply by 4 and add 3. Now reverse the digits and close your eyes.
Dark, isn’t it?
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
We called her Auntie Up.
For instant fun, just add water.
They said I was an "old fart"
But I hardly think that's true
My boobs were done in '75
But my teeth and knees are new.

And since my eyes were lasered
I have 20/20 sight
Though I like to sit on 50k
And hate to drive at night.

All in all I object to "old"
But "fart" is another matter
For I think the valves that seal the gas
Now leak as I've got fatter.

To add to the indignity
And make me feel antique
Sometimes when I sneeze or cough
I spring a little leak.

So if you're feeling young and smug
With a body like brand new
Just remember in 30 years
This figure may be you!

(By Pamela J. Langdon)
How do you make a dinosaur float? Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur.
Hey Baby, you want to come to my house and work on your math skills?
We can add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs and multiply!
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.