Actually

A proctologist is about to write a something on his patient's notes but when he goes to take his pen out of his pocket he realizes it's actually his thermometer that's there.

He says, "Darn, some a**hole has my pen."
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I'm beginning to suspect that the Tinnitus Hotline isn't actually staffed
Any time I call, it just keeps ringing.
Which classical Greek may have actually invented baseball?
Homer.
The Risks of Anal
The Risks of Anal A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal se*, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea  'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked.  'Actually, yes, I do.'  'Does it hurt you?' he asked.  'No. I rather like it.'  'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal se*, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.'  The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal se*?'  'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians come from?"
A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing but you actually mean your mother.
Contrary to belief, Wikipedia actually has less factual errors than traditional printed encyclopedias.

Source: Wikipedia
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
Wife is about to give birth.
Nurse: "I'm gonna deliver the Baby."
Dad: " Actually, we'd like him to keep his Liver"
What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually SEARCH for a golf ball.
Where does a mansplainer get his water?
From a well, actually.
What kind of man can you actually change?
The ones still in diapers.
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I said it was me,
It was actually you.
“From the ages of eight to 18, me and my family moved around a lot. Mostly we would just stretch, but occasionally one of us would actually get up to go to the fridge.”
Jarod Kintz
A zebra is the safest place to cross the road. Unless you are actually a zebra.