How does a rude princess sit on a horse? Snide-saddle.
Why would a horse make a good president? They know how to lead.
What do ponies look for in a vehicle? Lots of horsepower.
How does a horse make paper mâché? With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
What did the Clydesdale use to deal cards at the casino? A horse-shoe.
What does a horse do when it smells rotten seafood? It scallops outta there.
Why did they stop giving the horse grass? They wanted it to be less green.
What’s a horse’s favorite sport? Saddleball.
Why couldn’t the baby horse eat dessert? It was foal.
How do horses greet each other? “Hayyyyy.”
What type of car would a regular horse buy? A Fjord Focus.
Why did the pony turn himself in? He felt rem-horse.
What did the horse reply when asked if it can jump 3 feet? “I lope so!”
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field? They horse-boo.
What’s a racehorse’s favorite clothing brand? Jockey.
Who did the horse ask to be his second wife? A manewer model.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief? She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
Why does a horse’s hair always look so good? She mane-tains it.
What do horses use to eat? Breastplates.
What's a horse's favorite sport? Stable tennis.
What kind of bread does a racehorse eat? Thoroughbred.
What kind of horse do you ride after dark? A night mare.
What do you call a horse that lives next door to you? A neigh-bor.
Why didn’t the horse buy a house? The costs were mounting.
How could you tell the horse gained weight? It had extra girth.
Why was the horse such a good dancer? It perfected its halturn.
How do horses show gratitude? Flank you very much.
How could you tell the horse was getting old? It was wither-ing away.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why did the horse never get cold? It was a Dutch warmblood.
How do horses get to another star system? They travel through intergalloptic space.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out? That’s an equestionable decision.
How does a horse drink wine? With a de-canter.
Where do you take a sick pony? To the horse-pital.
Black Beauty - Now there's a dark horse.
What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable.
What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth? A mechanic.
A pony goes to see the doctor one day. He says, "Doc, you've got to help me. I've had this terrible sore throat for weeks and I think there must be some badly wrong." The doctor examines him and then reassures him saying, "It's okay, it's nothing serious; you're just a little horse."
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move? Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
How did the horse get up the stairs? He mounted them.
What would a winged horse play in a band? The pegabass guitar.
What does a horse call her best friend? Her mane chick.
Why do horses make good lawyers? Attention to de-tail.
Where do horses go to the bathroom? The bathroom stall-ion.
Why was the horse sad she didn’t get the job? She was flanking on it.
What do horses get after graduating university? A pedegree.
How does a horse get a suit fitted? With a tail-or.
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer? Colt-on Underwood.
How do you wash a horse? On a sponge-line.
How do baby horses get tucked in at night? They get told a tail.
What does a horse call its treats? My greatest preakness.
Where do the cool horses live? In rad-docks.
Why was the horse a great editor? She was very thorough bred.
Where do horses get their mane cut? The hair-dressager.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke? I canter even.
What does a winged horse drink from at a party? A keg-asus.
What do you call a rainbow you ride your horse on? A rein-bow.
How did the horse know the others were gossiping about him? He herd.
How did the horse make payments? In in-stallion-ments.
Why was the pony so excited to be invited to a rally with the president? It was a huge end-horse-ment.
When do vampires like horse racing? When it's neck and neck.
What's black and white and eats like a horse? A zebra.