Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor.
He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.
The blonde asked, “How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?”
“That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you'll be able to recognize the faces of people on the ground.”
After pondering his answer, she asked, “What happens if there’s no one there I know?”
How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? Knock on the door.
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and today you want me to show it to you!”
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"
One day a blond walks into a doctors office with both of her ears burnt.
The doctor asked her what had happened.
She says, "well... when I was ironing my work suit the phone rang and I picked up the iron instead of the phone by mistake.
"Well that explains one ear, but what about the other?"
"The bastard called again."
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
Why do blondes wear their hair up? To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Did you hear about the blonde who stayed up all night to see where the sun went? It finally dawned on her!
“I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blond to her friend. There was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? Her IQ goes up!
A blonde and a brunette were jumping off a building. Who jumped first? The brunette. The blonde had to ask for directions...
How do you drown a submarine full of blonds?
You knock on the door.
Why did the blond softball team always eat at Taco Bell before a game?
So they'd get more runs than the opponents.
Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an "F" in se*.
What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave!
How many blonde jokes are there?
One. The rest are all true stories.
A blond pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburetor," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blond.
How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff.
What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Siamese twins
What happened to the blonde Ice Hockey Team? They drowned in Spring Training
How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Why did the blonde give up online shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.
How do you kill a blonde? Give her a gun and say it's a hair drier.
Why do blondes wear ponytails? To hide the valve stem!
Why did the Blonde go to the Apple Store? She wanted a Big Mac meal.
What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up.
Why shouldn't you even think about dating the blond outfielder who got hit in the head by a baseball?
Because she's a bad catch.
How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree.
What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? Perri-air.
How do you keep a blond busy for 2 days?
Give her a piece of paper that has "please turn over" written on both sides.
A blond gets in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing.
She calls the police and reports a theft.
When the police officer comes, he looks at the blond who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!
Did you ever hear about the blonde who bathed herself and drank cleaning substances? She wanted to be spotless inside and out.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour.
So, when would you like to start?"
"In three months."
Why did the blond enter the tennis courts naked?
Because the sign said tennis shoes only.
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says "Where?"
What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.
A boss tells a blonde applicant, "I'll give you $8 an hour, starting today, and in three months, I'll raise it to $10 an hour. So, when would you like to start?"
"Could I start In three months?"
A blond rings up an airline.
She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?"
The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..."
The blond says, "Thanks!" and hangs up the phone.
Did you hear about the blonde corn maze? It only had 1 stalk.
How do you change a blonde's mind? A1: Blow in her ear. A2: Buy her another beer.
Why can't the blonde write the number eleven? She didn't know which "1" came first!
There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
Why did the blonde take a ruler to bed? Because she wanted to measure how long he slept.
Why do blondes take the pill? So they know what day of the week it is.