What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?
Ask a friend to toss one at you.
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"