What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary? Pilgrammar.
If the pilgrims came on the Mayflower than what does the teacher come on? The scholar ships.
What’s black, white and red?
A Pilgrim blushing because he’d seen the turkey dressing.
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Over the long journey and having overcome many hardships together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good Palgrims.
(we'll show ourselves out)
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
Should you have that annoying distant auntie for Thanksgiving dinner?
It’s really not worth it. Just have the turkey.
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain? Pil-grimace.
What does Dracula call Thanksgiving? Fangs-giving.
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
What’s the link between turkeys and teddies?
Stuffing. Lots of stuffing.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
One baked with May-flour.
Why couldn’t the Thanksgiving entertainment band perform?
Somebody had eaten the drumsticks.
“The turkey is dilated to 3.5 inches, stuffing is crowning, time to eat everybody!”
That’s what happens at Thanksgiving when your mom is an obstetrician.
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pil-grammar nazi.
What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach? Puritan.
Why did the turkey cross the road before Thanksgiving?
He was trying to give people the impression that he was a chicken.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What’s the easiest way to catch a turkey?
Ask a friend to toss one at you.