What do you call the age of a pilgrim? Pilgrimage.
What did the turkey say to the computer? "Google, google, google!"
What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving? The turkey trot.
Which cat discovered America? Christofurry Columbus.
What sound does a space turkey make? "Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!"
Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"? Because they never learned good table manners.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
"To be roasted or not to be roasted, that is the question."
What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian? He had an arrow escape.
What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, I'm stuffed!"
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play.
What do you call an evil turkey? Poultry-Geist.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? The outside.
What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day? God save the kin.
What two animals get stuffed on Thanksgiving? Turkeys and people after Thanksgiving dinner.
What do you call the day in November when your son and all his cousins get rowdy? Spanksgiving.
Why do the pants of pilgrims keep falling down? Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for? Their AGE!
What did baby corn say to mama corn?
"Where's popcorn?"
What usually comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
Traditionally, the letter G.
“Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics.”
Stephen Colbert
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The family dog’s nose.
The native Indians were laughing at the Pilgrims for being so pale and never getting a proper tan.
But they did get a tan. A puritan.
What do you call a turkey whizzing through the air past your head because the oven exploded?
Fast food.
Why didn’t the turkey bake properly on Thanksgiving?
I’ve no idea but I suspect some fowl play.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving. Provided you can catch the darned critter.
What is a good name for post-Thanksgiving constipation?
Turkey in suspense.
What did the turkey say before he was roasted?
“OK, spare me no insults!"
What do you get when you crossbreed a turkey with a harp?
A bird who can pluck itself.
Question: Why did the cranberries turn red?
Answer: Because they saw the turkey dressing!
Question: What is a turkey’s favorite dessert?
Answer: Peach gobbler!
How many chefs does it take to stuff a Thanksgiving turkey?
Only one and even then it’s a pretty tight squeeze!
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
What key can’t open doors no matter how hard you try?
Turkey.
Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
Who doesn't eat on Thanksgiving? A turkey - because it is always stuffed!
What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all!
Why did the policeman stop you on your way home last Thanksgiving?
Because you far exceeded your feed limit.
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What does a disappointed mama turkey tell her kids?
If your father were to see you now, he would be turning over in his gravy!