Football is one habit I will never kick
The winning home run didn't surprise the hitter. He did it all without batting an eye.The baseball player loved his treadmill and all the home runs.
They say that you can spike a volleyball. But you can never take away its dig-nity.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
A tennis ball walks into a bar.
The bar man asks: “have you been served?”
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
What do you call a fish whith a car? A carfish!
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship
Did you hear about the rundown swimming pool?
It was a real dive!
The perfect description of a bowling game is one where there is plenty of room at the top, but no room to lie down.
Too bad my serve hit the tape. Well, at least they’ll LET me hit it again.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
What do runners eat before a big race?
Fast food.
Today I donated my old basketball hoop to a school for the blind.
It will be missed.
We had an argument on our way back from the tournament. Our position is that their goal was stopping ours.
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Why can't tomatoes ever beat lettuce in a race?
Because lettuce is always a head, and tomatoes have to ketchup!
I like big punts and I cannot lie
If fish lived on land, in which country would they live? Finland.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
How did the swim team manage to pay for new pool renovations?
They pool-ed their resources!
At the end of the year, there is always a rock n’ bowl concert where everyone gets entertained.
Golfer: I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.
Caddie: Try heaven. You’ve already moved most of the earth.
How do volleyball players deliver their messages? Through Air Mail.
If ten zombies run after you, what time is it?
Ten after one.
Setters do it better. This sounds like a good motto to put on a T-shirt.
Why did the volleyball player get sent to jail? Because he was set up.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Don’t drop the ball – without you, the party will be incomplete.
What do you call a Sith Lord who likes to go fishing? Darth Wader.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
How are ladies' baseball teams and cupcakes alike?
Both are delicious and depend on a good batter.
Why can't you tell a joke while ice fishing? Because it'll crack you up!.
Hope you’re wide open on [date].
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
If somebody says "You pitch great for a southpaw," is that a left-handed compliment?
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
Which basketball team is the favorite at the North Pole?
The New York Old Saint Knicks.
What do you call a guy who can't stop running along the beach?
Joggernaut.
Will the Red Wings be able to replace their venerable captain Steve? No, because
when it comes to hockey smarts there is no Yzer man.
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
I just watched Sunday Night Football.
There were Lutz and Lutz of field goals.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
We’ll have a ball.
Who's got a penchant for spearing? Pronger!
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Why was the baseball player so good at writing advertising jingles?
Because they're so catchy.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.