The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
Why should you never go back in time to alter the outcome of a football game?
You’ll be called for past interference!
Case in punt
How are snow boards and vacuum cleaners alike?
Both have dirt bags on board.
Why couldn't the skeleton play football?
He didn't have the guts.
What is a cyclops' favorite winter activity?
Sking. That's like skiing, but only with one eye.
The beauty with bowling is that you can get three strikes, but you still remain in the game.
Many basketball players fail their tests in school because they do not want to pass.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
Why do referees always hurry to catch their next flight? Because it's "two
minutes 'fore boarding!"
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
What do you call a very slow skier?
A slope-poke.
What should you do when you play volleyball against a team of satanists? You beat the hell out of them.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
Are you still wondering why the basketball player could listen to his music? Don’t you know he broke a record!
Jokes are a lot like American football.
If you haven't gotten anywhere with the first three tries, you'll need to rely on your punner.
In Quebec they used to practise throwing the puck in the zone, and then
sitting back to wait for a turnover. But eventually the players were
criticized for this dump-and-chaise tactic.
They say that volleyball is just mind over matter. Because in our minds, you don’t matter.
Do baseball players ever wear armor?
Only during knight games.
When the baseball team chose an owl masot, did they get a designated hooter?
What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?
COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What did the football player say to the flight attendant?
"Put me in coach."
Why did the volleyball player not want to travel? Because he had been there and dug that.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
What keeps the beat in a baseball song?
The bass line.
Where does a fish keep his money In the River Bank!
Cold Ski Pun of the Day: I'm tired of slalom skiing. Alpine over another telemark now.
Chairlift Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, is it really windy up here, or are you just blowing me away?
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?
Anette.
Where can you find the biggest diamond in the world?
On a baseball field.
The last thing I can remember was the yellow ball speeding toward me. I swung the racquet, and then things got fuzzy.
Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
You cannot strike it, if you don’t try it.
Did you know Karl Marx's sister invented the starting pistol?
Her name was Onya Marx.
Why are frogs great outfielders?
Because they never miss a fly.
What did one hillbilly say to another? I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife. Best trade I ever made.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
Set or be set. This is certainly the right way to look at things.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Eyesore.
Eyesore who?
Eyesore from my long run—can we take the elevator?
If you want a loyal marriage, get hitched to a basketball player. He will never pass you, rather he will keep you all to himself.
What is the favorite sport for the young bass? It is the bass get ball.
When the defender was put in the box for spearing Jaromir Jagr, he
complained "but it was only a poke-Czech!"
Why don't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is
Which trophy has the most glitz? The Lady Bling.
Why was the football pitch a triangle?
Because someone took a corner
The dog didn’t want to play soccer because it was a boxer.
hat do you call it when a runner from Moscow starts a race at Red Square that ends in Finland?
Russian to the Finnish.
Don’t be a wet noodle – join us!
Where do football players go shopping in the offseason? The tackle shop.
Where do baseball players wash up?
In the bat tub.