Why can't Bill Clinton go scuba diving?
He won't inhale.
I have a lot of respect for fans of football teams that consist of only ghosts
They have a lot of spirit.
What is the fastest fish in the water? A motopike
What do you say when your dad wears a speedo to the pool?
Spee-don’t!
A certain Leafs right-winger was sued by the Louisiana government. He was
Owen N'awlins.
The success in this sport is not how you bowl, but how you roll.
Do you know the easiest way to stop squirrels from playing soccer in your garden is to hide the ball? Well, it drives them nuts.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
What is the worst advice a coach could ever give to a nude volleyball team? Play hard.
The perfect name for a pig that plays basketball is a ball hog.
What do you call it when you've choked on water while jogging every morning this week?
The worst running gag ever.
The reason why soccer players are brilliant in math is because they know how to use their heads well.
Whatever you do this summer, be sure to make a splash.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
Do you know how to dunk cookies? Ask a basketball chef.
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
Did Cyclops the X-man play hockey? Yes, he enjoyed lasing up the skates.
The only problem with golf is...
The slow groups are always in front of you and the fast groups are always behind you.
My wife drove our German car off the pier into the sea. The next day I went diving to look for it.
I got the Benz.
Did I tell you about my new girlfriend who also plays football?
Yeah.. she‘s a keeper
Wife: I’m sick and tired of your obsession with golf!
Husband: Why, is it driving a wedge between us?
When is an MLB ballpark the hottest?
After all the fans have left.
Which is the coolest football team in Italy?
AC Milan.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
What's the difference between a sorority girl and a bowling ball?
You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.
Where do players hide their marijuana?
Between the stash marks.
What does a bowler and a Thanksgiving guest have in common?
They both want a Turkey.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Why was the potato fired from his job at the football stadium?
He was a horrible commentater.
What does a volleyball player do when they go to prom? They spike the punch.
Why do benched players always seem to look so wise? They don’t have to look like fools on the floor and entertain the crowds.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
Why was the Copper Mountain skier taken to the emergency room?
He hurt his ski bum.
The huddle is real
The favorite soccer position for ghosts is the ghoul keeper.
Ana hits a lot of floating shots that her opponents destroy for winners. We need to sitter down and have a talk.
Native Americans used to have their own professional tennis tournaments, and provided free housing to players from other tribes. They called it the A Tee Pee Tour. (No disrespect to Native Americans!)
What did they give former Flyers left-winger Brian when he successfully
bulked up? Massive Propps.
Why did the kid pursue scuba diving?
Because all his grades are below C-level.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
I used to have a scuba diving business
But it went under.
What do a rabid rabbit and a basketball player have in common?
Mad hops.
A man named Martin Draw was campaigning for the Senate. He printed up shirts saying “I’m with Draw” to support his campaign. The next day, he wore the shirt to a tennis tournament. When he walked up to the tournament desk, the director handed him his money back and asked him why he couldn’t play.
Football pitches are almost always so wet. This is because soccer players dribble a lot.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
I tried to start a soccer club so I put up some posters on a local bulletin board.
Just to get the ball rolling.
. What do you call it when you heard the same jogger pun earlier, yet laughed again?
A running joke.
What does a runner lose after winning the race?
His breath.
If you want to impress the crowd, hit overheads. Every point will be a smash hit.