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reflexology socks Jokes

reflexology socks Jokes and more.
Quotes
“I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.”
Unknown
Laundry Puns
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry.
I said, "that's a sockrifice I had to make".
Bear Puns
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
One Liners for Kids
What do you call a bear with no socks on? Bare-foot.
Funny Poems For Kids
"My Missing Shoe"

I looked for you by the front door,
Under my bed, on the bathroom floor,
Near the back stairs, in the drawer with my socks,
Next to the table, and out in the sandbox.
My mother is calling me, and I’m calling you,
Where have you gone, my missing shoe?
"I’m Going to Be Famous"

I’m going to be famous!
I’m going to be great!
For every award
I’m the best candidate.
I’ve got an idea
to solve world peace.
I know how to force
every famine to cease.
I’ll power our town
with four sweaty socks
Or make a vaccine
for every pox.
I’ll reduce the garbage
in landfills by nine.
Wherever you’re shopping,
there won’t be a line.
I’d love to complete
all of this before bed
But Mom wants my room
to be cleaned up instead!

– Steve Hanson
"Messy Room"

Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or--
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!

– Shel Silverstein
Funny Money Quotes
“I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.” – Steve Martin
Spice Puns
What kind of socks do you need to plant cayenne pepper? Garden hose!
Pick Up Lines
I'm not wearing any socks. And I have the panties to match.
Garden Puns
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
Golf Puns
Why did the golfer need new socks?
Because there was a hole in one.
Travel Pick Up Lines
I want to live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
Funny Aging Quotes
"I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to." - Albert Einstein
Dad Puns
My dad was complaining he’d lost a sock after doing his laundry
Me: It’s a sacrifice to the dryer gods.
My dad: It’s a sockrifice.
Two Men With Black Eyes
A guy with a black eye boards his plane and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, 'I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said, 'I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'. So she socked me a good one." The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table this morning and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'You ruined my life you fat, evil hag'."
Are You Pick Up Lines
We’re not socks, but we make an excellent pair.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Husbands and wives are irritating. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?”—Janet Periat
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen, with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”- St Elmo's Fire
Clothes Pick Up Lines
I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.
One Liners and Short Jokes
Christmas - The only time of the year you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks.
Funny Love Poems
I love you in the mornings.
You hold me tight and ask for five more minutes.
Then when it’s time to go, you don’t let go.
I start to stress and tell you to get dressed.
Dog socks,
Slippers,
Underwear,
Athletic shorts,
Polo shirt.
You are a sight to see.
But I love you most, in the mornings.
What Do You WANT?
A man from Peru decided to visit America, although he spoke no English. Upon reaching it, one of the first thing he did was go into a department store. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines, (I want socks)" said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want suits, I want socks.)" said the man. "Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines, (No I don't want shirts, I want socks.)" repeated the man. "I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want pants, I want socks)" insisted the man. As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sí que es (Now that's it)!" "Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!?" yelled the salesgirl.
Fire Puns
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Funny Limericks
There once was a man from Tibet,
Who couldn't find a cigarette.
So he smoked all his socks,
and got chicken-pocks,
and had to go to the vet.
Funny Poems
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater’s been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or—
Huh? You say it’s mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!
(Shel Silverstein)
Potato Puns
Why did the potato wear socks?
To keep his pota-toes warm.
Greece Puns
Which ancient Greek Philosopher had a foot fetish?
Play-toe.
Or was it Sock-rates?
Funny Break Up Lines
What’s the difference between me and your socks? I’m not yours anymore.
The Italian Mama
Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta." says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
Funny Thanksgiving Poems
My father hates Thanksgiving.
It's all about the stuffing.
He says it smells like day-old socks.
So on his plate goes nothing.

He grits his teeth and goes to bed.
It gives my mother grief.
I think next year, this holiday,
instead we'll eat roast beef!

- Denise Rodgers
Funny Tongue Twisters
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
I'm a sock cutter and I cut socks.
Seth at Sainsbury's sells thick socks.
Does your sport shop stock short socks with spots?