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paul scerri artist ceramist Jokes

paul scerri artist ceramist Jokes and more.
Never Remarry
Lucy and Debra were having one of their chats during one of their regular Thursday outings to play some chess, talk and get some good coffee. At one point, Lucy sighed and said, “You know, Debra , if something every happened to my Paul, I don’t think I could ever marry again.” Debra nodded sympathetically. “I know what you mean,” she said. “Once is enough for me too.”
The $15 Porsche
A 16 year old teen comes home with a Porsche. His parents began to yell and scream. “Where did you get that car?” He calmly told them, “I bought it today.” “With what money?” Demanded his Father. “I know how much a Porsche costs!” “Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.” The parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like this for fifteen dollars!?” They asked. “It was the lady up the street,” said the boy, “don’t know her name — they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.” “Oh my goodness!” Gasped the mother, “she must be mentally ill! Who knows what she will do next? Paul, you go right up there and see what’s going on. And you my son should be ashamed of taking advantage!” So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in her yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy she sold the Porsche to for fifteen dollars and asked her what happened. “Well,” she said, “this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn’t intend to come back. He claimed he was really stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did.”
Driving Quotes
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
Tax Quotes
“The Government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul.”
– George Bernard Shaw
Funny Parenting Quotes
“Having a baby dragged me, kicking and screaming, from the world of self-absorption.”

- Paul Reiser.
“The biggest thing I remember is that there was just no transition. You hit the ground diapering.”

- Paul Reiser.
Turtle Puns
We have always been in turtle awe of her artistic skills.
Hockey Puns
Even if injuries end it prematurely, Paul's had a good Kariya.
Love Puns
I always find artists romantic because when they love you, they do it with all their art.
Guitar Puns
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
The Janitor and the Fairy
Three friends go on a hike in a forest. One is a professor, one a CEO, and one a janitor. Suddenly, they encounter a glowing ball of light that resolves itself into a beautiful fairy. The fairy says “I will give you humans what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day. You will be given all the resources you need.” The professor says “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?” so he is teleported into a classroom. After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up. The CEO says “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze.” so he is teleported to a restaurant. After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up. The janitor says “I’ll be an artist” so he is transported to an art facility. He uses the facility to create a huge art exhibit in which he glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, telling the story behind it, then sells it for a million dollars. After the day way done, the fairy congratulates the janitor. "But how come you could do all that?" She asks him curiously. The janitor shrugged. “I have a masters degree in art.”
Pickle Puns
Who's a pickle's favorite artist?
Salvador Dilli.
Monster Puns
Why don’t vampire’s make good artists?
Because all they draw is blood.
Spain Puns
People are always amazed by the skilled tattoo artists in Spain
Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision.
Funny Money Quotes
“Money is like manure. You have to spread it around or it smells." ~J. Paul Getty
“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." ~ J. Paul Getty
"If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars." ~ J. Paul Getty
“The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters." ~Jean-Paul Kauffmann
Funny Love Quotes
"Love is being stupid together." - Paul Valery
A War With the Devil
Fed up with God's creations, Lucifer decides to lead an army to destroy humanity. The war had been raging for many years, and humanity was slowly losing. Lucifer could raise a never ending stream of demons, and until he was contained, the fighting would never end. In order to stop him, God gives the humans a ritual that would seal away Satan forever. The Pope was recruited to carry out this command the operation. However, before they could seal Lucifer away, they first had to find him. Suddenly struck with an idea, the Pope went to gather the world's most renowned authors and artists. When they were assembled, the Pope set them to work on creating the most elaborate work of fiction in history. Every corner of this work was written and illustrated, every blade of grass meticulously described out in words and brush strokes. After years of continuous work, the project was finally compete. Bound together into a million page book, the tome described a universe in more detail than real life could ever manage. The book was placed on an alter, and with the preparations compete, the ritual began. To everyone's amazement, as soon as Holy Light stuck the book, Lucifer himself appeared. Like a shadow in the light, his presence radiated evil. But it was too late for him, the light closed in onto the book, and Lucifer was bound within it, never to escape. There was silence for a minute, then everyone erupted into cheers. Amidst the celebration, someone asked the Pope how he knew where to find Satan. The room grew quiet as the generals and Cardinals awaited his answer. "Well", he began, "It was really quite simple." "Everyone knows the devil's in the details."
One Liners and Short Jokes
The Truth About The Beatles:
John was the brain.
Paul was the heart.
George was the spirit,
and Ringo was the drummer.
Two artists had an art contest. It ended in a draw.
The Businessman and the Fortune Teller
A businessman needs a new lease on life, so he goes to see a fortune teller and asks him what his future would look like if he became an artist. To the man's surprise, the fortune teller pulls out a large pipe, takes a hit, then looks into her crystal ball and says "dim and poor, don't bother." So the businessman asks him about his second choice, carpentry. The fortune teller takes a hit of her pipe, looks into her crystal ball, and says "better, but still not good." Finally, the businessman asks him how his life would go if he became an accountant. The fortune teller takes a hit of her pipe, looks into her crystal ball and says "best choice so far, but don't you have larger hopes than that?" The businessman says "thank you madam, how much do I owe you?" The fortune teller replies, "You asked three questions, so that will be three thousand dollars." "Three thousand dollars!" the businessman exclaims, "but I was only here for a few minutes!" The fortune teller points to her pipe and says "this stuff's not cheap, but to be honest I do keep most of it. You're a businessman, you understand." When the businessman gets home, he sees his wife and he says "honey, I'm going into the fortune-telling business." "Why's that?" she asks. He replies, "the high prophet margin!"
I Wonder How Paul is So Fast
Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office. He was thrilled, because he had been looking for employment for a while, without any luck. It wasn’t long before his first day arrived, and he headed to the Post Office brimming with confidence. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. His supervisor was astounded as his speed. At the end of the first day, he approached Paul. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." "Thank you, Sir," said Paul, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" Paul replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses!"
Cheese Puns
What is a cheese lover’s favorite rap artist?
Feta wap.
Peach Puns
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
Truck Puns
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Romantic Pick Up Lines
I heard your beauty inspired an artistic movement called "perfectionism".
Art Puns
A con artist is an artist who draws pictures of criminal suspects.
Dreaming in color is the artist's pigment of imagination.
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
What was the artist's favorite swimming stroke? The brushstroke.
Artists are colorful people who know how to draw on their emotions.
The artist painted himself into a corner, leading to his death.
The artist was great. He could always draw a crowd.
What did the angry artist say? Don't get me arted!
Why did the artist cross the street? To crosshatch to the other side.
What did the artist ask the preschooler? Can you count to pen?
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
Why do old artists never die? They just withdraw.
Q: What did the artist say to the dentist?-
A: Matisse hurt
Where will you find an FBI sketch artist? In the bureau drawer.
Why was the artist in an argument? She wanted to have the final clay.
What does an artist call his sketch pad? A house.
Why do old artists never die? They just put things in perspective.
The artist shouldn't have taken that sculpture for granite, now it's stone-cold.
What did the artist say to his old friend? Let's clay in touch.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
Why did the artist use the bathroom? Because she was consta-painted.
Q: How do Japanese artists bid farewell?
A: Cyan-Nara!
Why did the artist go to the lounge? Because it was her comfort tone.
They say that she only paints night scenes. Other artists really pale by comparison.
Artists know how to draw the line, so you can't really peer pressure them.
My friend impresses girls by drawing realistic pictures of trucks. He's a pickup artist!
Why did the origami artist win her court case? She was great at doing the paperwork.
Why can't a tattoo artist be faithful? Because he always has designs on his clients.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
I told the artist that his painting was terrible. I think he got the picture.
Did you hear about the artist's really messy house? He said it was 'a work in progress'.
Furniture Puns
What do you call an artistic piece of furniture?
A drawer
Laundry Puns
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
Color Puns
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
Why are artists so temperamental? They have to get into the right frame of mind.
I had gradient expectations on him of being a good artist, but it was all in vain!
After completing the deadline just in the nick of time, the artist breathed a cyan of relief.
Q. What do you get when a swine artist mixes two colors together?
A. Pigment.