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mexican Jokes

mexican Jokes and more.
Avocado Puns
What did the Mexican heavy metal guitarist say to his bandmates?
“Rock out with your guac out.”
Fairy Puns
What do they call the fairy in the Mexican version of Peter Pan?
Taco Bell.
Beach Puns
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
One Liners and Short Jokes
Once upon a time a Mexican magician performed in a magic show.
He counted:

“Uno...”

“Dos...”

And disappeared without a trace.
Mexican Pick Up Lines
Are you Mexican cause you’re my Juan and only.
Hey girl are you mexican, 'cause you illegally came into my mind.
Someone told me I'm a rare Mexican Flower.
Ay caramba! You’re hotter than a jalepeño in the Mexican desert.
You are s*xy, you are Mexican. You’re a S*xican.
Do you like Mexican food? Because I will wrap you in my arms and make you my bae-rito.
Never Throw Items Out a Plane
There’s a Mexican, an American and a Russian man on a plane. The Mexican says, "I hate my country!" And throws a tin of soup out the window. The American says, "I hate my country!" and throws a pie out the window. The Russian says, "I hate my country!" And throws a bomb out the window. The plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying and asks him "what's wrong kid?" The kid says, "a tin of soup fell on my mom's head and now she’s dead." "I didn't do that!" says the Mexican. The American sees another kid crying and asks her "what's wrong kid?" The kid says, "my mom was driving, and a pie fell on her windshield and she drove off a cliff as she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that!" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and sees a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says, "what's so funny?" The kid says, "Daddy just farted and the house went BOOM!"
Bear Puns
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Have You Met the Van Gogh Family?
Did you know the painter Vincent van Gogh had a very large family? There's his dizzy aunt, Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes, Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store, Stop N Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia, U Gogh His magician uncle, Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin, A Mee Gogh The Mexican cousin's American half brother, Gring Gogh The nephew who drove a stage coach, Wellsfar Gogh The constipated uncle, Can't Gogh The ballroom dancing aunt, ang Gogh The bird lover uncle, Flamin Gogh The fruit loving cousin, Man Gogh An aunt who taught positive thinking, WaytoGogh The little bouncy nephew, Poe Gogh A sister who loved disco, Go Gogh And his niece who travels the country in an RV, Winnie Bay Gogh I saw you smiling, there ya Gogh!
Snow Puns
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Worm Puns
What happens when a Mexican gets to the worm? He passes out.
Fire Puns
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Greece Puns
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
Head Puns
What do Mexicans wear on their heads in the pool?
Swimbreros.
Taco Puns
What did the Mexican wrestler say after he ate a taco that was too spicy?
“It’s okay, I’ll just guac it off”
Unicorn Puns
What do you call a Mexican unicorn? Junicorn.
Pedro the Quote Master
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro, the son of a Mexican telecom tycoon, entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775." "Very good! Now, who said "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?" Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863," said Pedro. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do." She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans." "Who said that?" she demanded. Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836." At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke." The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Pedro. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!" Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinski, 1997!" Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I'll kill you." Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh crap, we're in BIG trouble now!" Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."
Vehicle Puns
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Ghost Puns
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Puns
Why did the Mexican take Xanax?
For hispanic attacks.
My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication
It's for Hispanic attacks.
A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. African, Zambian, Ethiopian, Bosnian, Nigerian, Angolan, Botswanian, Tanzanian, Saudi Arabian, Kuwaiti, Iranian, Iraqi, Pakistanian, Mongolian, Indian, Burman, Chinese, Cambodian, Laotian, Somalian, Yemen, Syrian, Israeli, Armenian, Philipino, Javan, Australian, Sri Lankan, Malaysian, Georgian, Taiwanese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Puerto Rican, Dominican Republican, Aruban, Jamacian, Cuban, Haitian, El Salvadorian, Guatamalan, Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, Panamanian, American, Canadian, Mexican, Argentinian, Bolivian, Peruvian, Columbian, Brazilian, Ecuadorian and a Venezuelan walk into a bar.


The bartender looks up and says, "Sorry. I cannot serve you without a Thai."
Sports Puns
What do you call 2 Mexicans playing tennis?
Juan on Juan!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Train Puns
Why did the Mexican train robber rob the train?
Because he had a loco-motive.
Bacon Puns
Why didn't the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!
Jose the Tourist
A young Mexican man named Jose was curious about America so he saved his money and went on a trip. He wanted to go see a baseball game so when he went home, he could tell his family all about it. When he got there, the game was sold out, so he decided to climb to the top of a flag pole to get a better look. When he returned home, his family was anxious to hear about his experience: "What happened?" asked his family. "Well, America is the nicest place in the world!!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands and all the players stood up, looked at me and shouted to me: "Jose, can you see?"
Snake Puns
What do you call a Mexican snake?
Hisssspanic.
Spain Puns
Did you hear that Mexicans created a machine that dispenses fish?
They call it a pez dispenser.