What's a man's idea of honesty in a relationship? Telling you his real name.
You might as well go for a younger guy. Why?
They never mature anyway.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.
Why do doctors slap babies' bums right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.
What’s the definition of a perpetual bachelor?
A man who’s missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
A doctor tells a woman she can no longer touch anything alcoholic. So she gets a divorce...
Wives want to videotape the birth of their child, while husbands want to videotape the conception.
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball.
Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice.
What do a balloon and a man have in common?
One prick pretty much ruins them.
I like older men because they've gotten used to life's disappointments. Which means they're ready for me.
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard.