What does a man consider a seven-course meal? A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Why are men like cars? Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is cumming.
Moses was leading his people through the desert for 40 years. It seems, even in Biblical times men avoided asking the way.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
What’s the difference between a clitoris and a golf ball?
A man will actually look for a golf ball.
How do you scare a man? Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice! How is a man like a used car? Both are easy to get, cheap, and unreliable!
What’s the definition of a perpetual bachelor?
A man who’s missed the opportunity to make a woman miserable.
How does a man show he's planning for the future? He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
A third-grade teacher is getting to know her pupils on the first day of school.
She turns to one little girl and says, ‘And what does your daddy do?’
The girl replies, ‘Whatever Mummy tells him to.’
What's the difference between a man and a condom? Condoms have changed. They're no longer thick and insensitive!
What's the best way to force a male to do sit ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
My boyfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two boyfriends.
How do you drive a man crazy? A. Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it.