A groom waits at the altar with a huge smile on his face.
His best man asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The groom replies, "I just had the best blow job I have ever had in my entire life, and I am marrying the wonderful woman who gave it to me."
The bride waits at the other end of the aisle with a huge smile on her face. Her maid of honor asks, "Why do you look so excited?"
The bride replies, "I just gave the last blow job of my entire life."
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Why do some guys have Red Eyes after se*? Mace.
What do a balloon and a man have in common?
One prick pretty much ruins them.
Why did God create man before woman? He didn't want any advice.
Older women to her friend about remarrying, “When I pass away I want my husband to be so upset he has to drop out of college.”
How many knees do men really have? 3 - right knee, left knee and their wee-knee.
When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing, either the car is new or the wife is.
What has eight arms and an IQ of 60?
Four guys drinking Bud Light and watching a football game!
How many "friendzoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw.
My boyfriend told me once that I need to be more affectionate.
Now I have two boyfriends.
For you men who think a woman's place is in the kitchen, remember... that's where the knives are kept.
How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
If February is Black History Month and March is Women’s History Month, what happens the rest of the year?
Discrimination.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue