It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.