It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.