It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.