It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.