It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.