It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.