It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.