It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.