It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.