It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.