It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.