It’s so hot that the only waves at the beach were heatwaves.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot granny broke wind just to have a little breeze.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot polar bears are wearing sunscreen.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I saw two hydrants fight over a dog.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.