It’s so hot fire ants are really on fire.
It’s so hot Adam and Eve traded their fig leaves for ice cubes.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot the cows are producing evaporated milk.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot the trees are whistling for the dogs.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot you realize asphalt has a liquid state.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot I saw a chicken lay an omelet.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot Jehovah’s Witnesses started telemarketing.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.