It’s so hot outside I just saw two hobbits throw a ring off my roof.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot Optimus Prime transformed into an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot that the clams were already steamed when I dug them up.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It was so hot that I poured boiling water on myself to cool down.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot, when the temperature drops below 95 I start to feel chilly.
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot the frozen pizza I bought at the grocery store was ready to eat by the time I got home.
It’s so hot I saw a squirrel picking up nuts with potholders.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It was so hot that the soles of my shoes melted.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It’s so hot ice pops are melting in the freezer.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot I got condensation on my backside from the water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It's so hot outside the ice cream man just change the sign on the side of his truck to "cream."
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot that I’m using Celsius instead of Fahrenheit just to have a lower number.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot the best parking place is determined by the shade instead of the distance.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.