It's so hot that all the water buffalo at the zoo evaporated.
It’s so hot the birds are using oven mitts to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot that I went to hell just to cool off.
It’s so hot that hot water now comes out of both taps.
It's so hot that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk!
It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.
It’s so hot that the oven got jealous.
It’s so hot that my sprinkler released steam.
It’s so hot I discovered my seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
It’s so hot you can wash and dry your clothes at the same time.
It’s so hot you discover that it only takes 2 fingers to drive your car.
It’s so hot the catfish are already fried when you catch them.
It’s so hot the Statue of Liberty was asked to lower her arm.
It’s so hot I wish had got the cloth seats instead of the leather ones.
It’s so hot I set the house on fire just to cool off.
It’s so hot that Tabasco sauce tastes mild.
It’s so hot you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot, I saw a guy with a sign that said, "Will work for shade."
It’s so hot that I renamed my pig “Bacon.”
It’s so hot even my wife’s heart is melting.
It’s so hot that my kite crashed and burned.
It’s so hot I’m sweating like a politician on election day.
It’s so hot that my chocolate milk is now hot cocoa.
It’s so hot all chocolate is hot chocolate.
It’s so hot even the artificial flowers are dying.
It’s so hot I saw a heatwave and I waved back.
It’s so hot they installed a fan in the debt ceiling.
It's so hot out that I cleaned my fridge just so I could hang out in my fridge for a while.
It’s so hot that farmers are feeding ice to the chickens so they won’t lay boiled eggs.
It's so hot out that my sweat is sweating.
It was so hot that my gold jewelry melted.
It’s so hot that you can poach eggs in a pool.
It’s so hot chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It’s so hot my dream house is an igloo.
It’s so hot you can pull a leaf off a tree and iron with it.
It’s so hot my thermometer goes up to “Are you kidding me?”
It’s so hot everyone is wearing sweat pants.
It’s so hot all the sand on the beach is now glass.
It’s so hot I started putting ice cubes in my waterbed.
It's so hot I saw an Amish guy buy an air conditioner.
It’s so hot I saw a cop chasing a thief and they were both walking.
It’s so hot your clothes iron themselves.
It’s so hot my campfire lit itself.
It’s so hot I bought a loaf of bread and by the time I got home, it was toast.
It’s so hot firecrackers light themselves.
It’s so hot I saw the Devil in Wal-Mart buying an air conditioner.
It’s so hot McDonald’s is frying burgers on parked cars.
It’s so hot that I have taken to leaving the toilet seat up just to get those chilling, icy stares from my wife.
It’s so hot I almost called my ex so I could be around something shady.
It’s so hot that corn on the stalks starts popping.