It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold that I have to wave a blow-torch in front of my nose just to have a sneeze.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold pet stores sell hamsters, gerbils, and penguins.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It’s so cold that I’m breathing out snowflakes!
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It's so cold that when cows are milked, ice cream comes out.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold we had to stop eating with metal cutlery. Some people walked around for days with spoons or forks stuck to their tongues!
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It’s so cold refrigerators are redundant.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It's so cold that Starbucks started serving coffee on a stick.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.