It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It’s so cold the anticipation of waiting for my ketchup to come out of the bottle lasted three months.
It's so cold that you have to break the smoke off your chimney.
It’s so cold mailmen watch out for both dogs and polar bears.
It's so cold that the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold that Jack Frost changed his name to Jack Froze.
It’s so cold you could rob me with a bucket of water right now!!
It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold chickens are rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold pickpockets are sticking their hands in strangers’ pockets just to keep them warm.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It's so cold that I’m drinking hot sauce instead of coffee.
It's so cold that people started chipping their teeth on soup!
It’s so cold that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!
It's so cold that you have to open the fridge to heat the house.
It's so cold that our words froze in midair — we had to put them in a frying pan to thaw them so we could hear what we were talking about.
It's so cold that trees are chopping themselves into firewood.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold every kind of cereal in the cupboard is frosted – including the boxes!
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It's so cold that the rock rattling around in your shoe is your toe.
It’s so cold we have to carry around hammers and chisels so we could get out of our clothes!
It’s so cold our hats have turned into ice caps.
It’s so cold we had to chisel the dog off a lamp post.
It's so cold that you might have to chop up the piano for firewood (although you’ll only get two chords).
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold kids are using a new excuse to stay up late: “But Mom, my pajamas haven’t thawed out yet!”
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It's so cold that polar bears wear jackets.
It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus and the dog was riding on the inside.
It’s so cold I saw an Amish guy buying an electric blanket.
It’s so cold we didn’t clean the house, we just defrosted it.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold that even the ATM shows minus.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.