It's so cold hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It’s so cold it’s colder than any room packed with ex-wives.
It’s so cold the local graveyard put heaters out for the ghosts.
It’s so cold I left Starbuck with mocha lattes and by the time I got to the car I had fudgicles.
It’s so cold people with spiked hair were being arrested for carrying around a dangerous weapon.
It was so cold when I blinked my eyes froze shut.
It’s so cold I swapped my pillow for a grill.
It’s so cold I tried to take out the garbage, but it refused to go.
It’s so cold sheep were demanding their wool back.
It’s so cold walruses were visiting the hardware store in search of more insulation.
It’s so cold that bed bugs promised not to bite you as long as they can snuggle in your pajamas.
It’s so cold that when we baked the frozen pizza in the oven for 25 minutes, it was still frozen.
It’s so cold a glacier was seen heading slowly down the main street of our town.
It’s so cold the flames of our fire froze.
It’s so cold the school nurse has to use a steamer to remove the instruments from the lips of the brass band members after the concert.
It’s so cold we have to put skates on just to move around the house.
It’s so cold washroom attendants have started putting salt boxes next to the toilets.
It’s so cold that even the polar bears started drinking hot chocolate.
It was so cold firemen couldn’t get the people out of the burning building because it was warm.
It’s so cold our table cutlery now includes a saw.
It’s so cold the aquarium didn’t need to use glass. On the downside, the fish were motionless.
It’s so cold mum used a saw to serve us milk.
It’s so cold the cosmetics counter at the local department store started selling cream for goosebumps.
It was so cold the mice were playing ice hockey in the toilet bowl.
It’s so cold we were afraid to spit because it can ricochet.
It’s so cold fish were jumping out of the ice holes and straight into the frying pan.
It was so cold when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
It’s so cold we had to salt the hallway.
It’s so cold I walk to school with a toaster in my pants.
It’s so cold we had to punch a hole in the air just to get outside.
It’s so cold that when I needed an anesthetic, the dentist told me to stick my head out the hospital window.
It’s so cold I actually enjoyed someone spilling hot coffee in my lap.
It’s so cold my mail shattered when I tried to open it.
It’s so cold that the snowflakes froze in the air and birds used them as stepping stones to get from tree to tree.
It’s so cold teenagers began to worry about getting goosebumps rather than acne.
It’s so cold the rats in the alley were bribing the cats for a snuggle.
It’s so cold Levi Strauss started making electric jeans.
It’s so cold dogs are wearing cats.
It’s so cold travel agencies are advertising tropical holidays to Alaska.
It’s so cold that when I dialed the emergency number, there was a recording that said to call back in spring.
It’s so cold my hat wrapped itself in a scarf.
It’s so cold my money turned into cold, hard cash.
It’s so cold my shadow ended up freezing on the sidewalk.
It’s so cold I had to eat ice cream just to warm up.
It’s so cold I saw a gangsta with his pants pulled up.
It’s so cold I saw Superman taking a taxi.
It’s so cold that the Statue of Liberty put her torch inside her dress!
It’s so cold the ice cubes in my drink have goosebumps.
It’s so cold cops are tasering themselves.
It’s so cold ice cubes are coming out of my tap.